LiveJournal for Matt Cruea.

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Friday, December 4th, 2009

Subject:Inboxing Match
Time:4:19 pm.
I recently deleted a lot of email that was in the inbox of my old Yahoo email account. I had around 5500 emails in there, a lot of which were replies to LiveJournal entries, and now I'm down to under 500. This is nice, as I can now go through them and find the real gems. There are a lot of neat things. I found a script I wrote and had sent to McCorvic that I thought was lost in a hard drive crash.

A lot of scripts are in here, my own and others. Correspondence that was funny. Stuff that can't be replicated. However, behind this cut, you will find emails I thought were at least notable enough to share with you. Emails that are lame, mushy, horrifying, or of a more personal nature are omitted. Enjoy!

BLARGH )
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

Subject:Science Experiment #2
Time:4:16 am.
Science Experiment #1

SCIENCE EXPERIMENT CASE FILE #2: DOBIE GILLS

PROBLEM:
As mankind continuously threatens the biosphere with pollution, deforestation, and urban sprawl, the Earth itself seems to rescind the gifts given to us, including the air we breathe. If all the forests die, we will have no air to breathe and from there death is probably inevitable.

HYPOTHESIS: People should be able to breathe underwater.

SUMMARY: As air is the most precious of our natural resources and water is the second most precious of our natural resources, I thought it would be prudent to eliminate one and use more of the other. In retrospect, though I have already completed my experiments, I realize that this would only deplete our water supplies quicker... however, that is neither here nor there.

If man were able to live as the fish, able to process the oxygen contained within water and use it to keep themselves alive. A few different methods immediately came to mind when thinking about this situation, and thus I have attempted them all in order to prove my hypothesis.

I once more gathered subjects via Craigslist and paid most of them handsomely for their services.

EXPERIMENTATION RESULTS

- The first experiment was rather rudimentary and, again in retrospect, had no chance of success. Yet, we will consider it control for this exercise. I took the torso of a properly anesthetized subject and sawed it in two. Using twine and a sewing needle, I attached the bottom half of a large fish I'd bought from a fisherman in Maine. Sadly, not only did the subject NOT breathe underwater, he did not breathe at all. This is because he died instantly. I like to think that, while this was all done in the name of science, I've at least learned my lesson there (NOTE: See EXPERIMENT #78: EXERCISES IN MERMEN, EXPERIMENT #124: HALF-MAN, HALF-FISH AND OLYMPIC SWIMMING VIABILITY, and EXPERIMENT #310: SEWING ANIMAL PARTS ONTO PEOPLE AND SEEING WHAT HAPPENS).

- The second experiment took a few tries to complete. I attempted to create gills in a human subject. The first attempt (cutting three slits onto both sides of the subject's throat) ended in failure similar to the first experiment. I then attempted to quickly insert the gills of various aquatic specimens into the slits onto a second subject's throat, but this, too, ended in disaster. I have decided that combining animal parts with living humans does not seem to work (NOTE TO SELF: Research this further in future experiments).

- The third experiment was, I like to think, a bit more successful than the others. The main gist of this exercise was to alter the lungs of the subject actually process water rather than oxygen. Doing this required intense invasive surgery that lasted upwards of three days (NOT TO SELF: Thank Art at Arthur's Anesthetic for all his help). Finally, I found that I actually succeeded in allowing the subject to subsist on water for his oxygenation processes. I thought that, perhaps, this would be my breakthrough. Alas, Subject S-39 was, ever afterward, unable to live on the land, and thus was banished to a lonely, yet exciting existence beneath the waves of the Pacific Ocean. I wish Subject S-39 well in his travails and hope that, perhaps, he can find the peace that I know in my heart of hearts will elude him until his sweet, sweet demise.

CONCLUSION: Sadly, I must admit that, while it is, indeed, possible for a human being to be able to process water like an aquatic creature, it is not possible for it or any creature to exist on both land and sea(See EXPERIMENT #872: AMPHIBIANS - WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THEM). I cannot, thus, consider this experiment a failure, but I can consider the original problem left unsolved.

As a firm supporter of the environment, I wish the mankind would realize the err of its ways. Soon, the skies will burn red with fire and all of us will be forcefully banished to the waves whether we like it or not. Perhaps then we will be ready.

Perhaps then we will be ready to live as mermen (See DREAM DIARY ENTRY #1123: I AM A MERMAID PRINCESS).

END EXPERIMENT REPORT
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Monday, November 30th, 2009

Subject:This is a Test... This is Only a Test.
Time:10:05 pm.
Thirty days of my life and thoughts on it have been recorded consecutively in this journal. If we're looking at non-consecutive chronicling, then this coming February I'll have been writing for around eight years, I think. Eight years you guys haven been skimming my ridiculous blog.

Eight years ago I typed the title "Matt Cruea's Journal of Fun and Adventure," called my friend's page "Matt Cruea's Friends Are Inferior To Him," selected exactly zero interests in my profile, and selected the most bland and generic style available. For eight years I've written about my existence and at least some of you have been along for the ride the entire time.

When I first began blogging, a term that I really hate using but it is what it is, I was a Junior in high school, my father had just passed away, and I was just getting the internet at home for the first time. Since then, I've written a grand total 1,187 entries, 24 short stories (well, a few more, but I didn't count a some), and been friends with 195 other accounts. I've made entries in at least 15 different locations. I've sang songs, improvised stories, and given an account of a day trapped in a video store, all via voice post.

I've made public entries with funny links and posted AIM conversations about luchador tag teams. I've made friends only entries asking for help in life and love and about secret trips I wish we'd gone on. I've made private entries about myself that none of you will ever read, but when I read them I feel my heart race and I remember that moment like I'd just lived it.

I've rarely kept secrets and have had, I feel, one of the most public and revealing blogs I've read or come across. I've talked about my hopes and fears and loves and hates and everything in between. I've drawn you terrible pictures and posted fanfiction about Dragonball-Dinosaur Sex.

For eight years I've written, and I like think that, perhaps, in eight more years I'll still be writing. Where will I be in 2017? Will I be married? Devastatingly alone? Thin? Crippled? In another state? Another country? Teaching? Learning? An uncle? A father?

Most of all, I think, when I make that entry in 2017, talking about how I'd spent half my life writing in this journal, I think the same thought I think when I made this and every other entry, no matter how big or small or meaningful or meaningless.

I think and I wonder...

...who will reply?
Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, November 29th, 2009

Subject:But Doctor... I Am Pagliacci!
Time:10:21 pm.
Funny joke. Everybody laugh.

I wonder sometimes about being taken seriously. Why, I wonder, is it something that is so hard to attain? For as long as I can remember, I've been armed with a quick wit and a well-timed joke at any given moment. I'm not sure if it's some sort of defense mechanism or something, but it's there and it is what it is.

However, when you want to do something serious, whether it's write a drama, sing a soulful song, or even tell someone you love them, I find it's hard to be taken seriousLY. Perhaps it's because comedy is easier for people to accept. A funny story might make you laugh, but a dramatic story might just make you think - and who wants to do that?

I've considered that, at this point in my life, I've already painted myself into a corner. That "the funny guy" is all I've really got. However, being 'funny' is almost a reverse-compliment. The problem with self-identifying with "funny" is that everyone is funny. Every single person on the planet worth interacting with has, at the very least, the capacity for humor (if they don't then you probably won't be interacting with them due to their unfortunate suicide).

So, then, if everyone is funny, what does it mean when your major redeeming quality is that you are funny? If you are judged by your ability to induce laughter in others, then how can you grasp that so very American ideal of individualism? Lots of funny people are also actors, or fathers, or blue collars workers. But they are funny in addition to a separate skill set. Being ONLY funny is a specialization that will, in most cases, get you nowhere.

It sucks, too, because it's not like being funny isn't nice. It's most certainly a positive aspect of my character. However, as it is a gift, it is also a curse. If you crack a joke when you want to cry, then you only cry alone. If you try to make others laugh when a problem is afoot, then you're only giving temporary care and not a solution to the problem.

Normally at the end of a paragraphed entry such as this, I would end with some sort of wacky non-sequitur (and be on the lookout tomorrow for the return of just that). However, this, appropriately enough, is a serious entry by a serious man who wonders if maybe, just maybe, it's time for a serious change.

To stop drawing pictures and start making art.

To stop singing songs and start creating music.

To stop writing stories and start living them.

Perhaps it's time to put on the suit and tie, heat up my Easy Mac, and live how the other half lives. Perhaps being funny and only that has no place in the life of an adult.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

Subject:Voice Post
Time:11:33 pm.
VoicePost Help
493K 2:39
(no transcription available)
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Friday, November 27th, 2009

Subject:Why's It Gotta Be BLACK Friday?
Time:1:41 pm.
Allow me to tell you my harrowing tale of woe, joy, anger, and victory.

After Thanksgiving, Adam and I went to our little studio at the church to record some music for our current semi-secret project. I knew what I wanted to buy the next morning: a 32-inch HDTV at Target that was going for $250. I also knew, however, that with this Black Friday business, I'd need to line up to have a shot at getting the TV.

So we finished recording around 2:30 AM, with Target opening at 5. It was a little before this time that I received a call from my sister, asking me if I could take her and her friend with me to wait in line in the cold in front of Target. Figuring misery loves company, I decided to pick her up and take her with me.

We arrived at Target about ten after 3, and the line wasn't nearly as long as I'd thought it'd be. Realizing I had time and placeholders, I asked my sister and her friends to hold my place in line at Target and I walked down to Old Navy to attempt to take advantage of their big special. See, at Old Navy, it was advertised that if you got $20 worth of merchandise, they'd give you a free copy of Lego Rock Band! For those of you who might have dismissed it as a kids' game, Lego Rock Band has both the Ghostbusters Theme and The Final Countdown, so I would not have minded getting it and some random shirts for $20.

So I grabbed the first two ten-dollar shirts I saw and got at the end of what was already a monstrous line. I literally waited in line for an hour just to get to the front and confront the clerk with my situation.

"Hey," I began, "before you scan these, um, are you guys still doing the Lego Rock Band deal?"

"Do you have a wristband?" he asked.

"Well, no."

"You had to have a wristband to take advantage of the deal."

"Oh, okay... BYE."

So I gave him my stuff and left. I'd waited in line at Old Navy for an hour for nothing, though at least it was inside and warm. When I returned to Target, the line had grown exponentially and the temperature was... STRIKINGLY different.

As we froze and made conversation with the people around us, I attempted to combat both my sleepiness and boredom by starting the wave, jumping jack competitions, and, as the opening of Target inched closer and closer, sing-alongs of The Final Countdown. My sister and her friends had been chatting up this lady and her assumed daughter behind us the whole time and they were pretty funny (the mom also had no front teeth, so I knew what SHE wanted for Christmas).

The clock counted down and magical things began happening. A truck from Chik-Fil-A came by and gave out free chicken biscuit coupons. The wind died down for sometimes five minutes, giving a brief respite from the cold. And, the coolest thing ever, the two ladies behind us had gotten their family to bring them hot chocolate... and they'd brought extras for my sister, her friends, and myself. It was really nice and I'd like to thank them, even though I didn't get their names.

Finally, the doors to Target opened. I knew what I wanted: the one item and I was gone. I'd wait in the car for my sister to finish. I bolted in, my cart firmly grasped in both hands, and headed for the television displays. Much to my dismay, a gentleman in a funny hat had cut in line and no one had stopped him. He didn't stop me from my quest, but it annoyed me. A man firmly placed the television into my cart and I let him know I appreciated his hard work (I did this for most of the workers. I've done retail on Black Friday, and I'd rather not, ever again). I had made it. I was first in line to check out.

As I checked out, I saw the man in the funny hat leaving with the same TV I had in my cart. I let him know I thought he was a jerk. He left without looking at me.

The time, however, had come at last. After struggling to find the bar code, the cashier allowed me to scan my card and even gave me a $10 gift card for spending more than $100! Neat! However... there seemed to be an issue with the transaction. After huffing and sighing and a short button-mashing session, the cashier asked me to scan my card again and repeat the transaction. I did as asked and, once more, the transaction faltered.

As the manager fiddled with the card, I knew what my fate would be. Sure enough, the third time... my card was denied. I then proceeded to spend thirty minutes on the phone with Bank of America, verifying those two charges for over $250 that had been made within a few minutes of each other. I then proceeded to go back to check out, but the lines had exploded.

Not wanting to cause a stir, I deposited myself at the end of the nearest line and waited, talking to an old lady behind me and the cute lady in front of me about pretty much everything. The old lady didn't even know they'd made TVs that big! She was buying a $25 microwave, and was glad that she was FINALLY getting a microwave. Um, okay.

I get through the line and check out, this time without error. I thank the cashier, the same one from earlier, and wait on my sister and her friends, who were only two spots behind me. I felt like a celebrity, as tons of people stopped to ask me how much the TV I'd bought was, or where I'd gotten it, or what it felt like to be me (that didn't happen, but I do ask myself that question sometimes).

We left as the sun began to rise around 6 AM... which just happened to be when Chik-Fil-A opened! The drive-thru was empty and we charged through, claiming our delicious, free chicken biscuits. These coupons required purchase of a medium drink, but I bought the drinks for everyone because I am awesome.

I dropped the girls off at their house and returned home to bask in the glow of the television I technically won't even need to open until May and then pass out until 1:30 PM.

I hope YOUR Black Friday, Thanksgiving, and life in general is going swell. :)
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, November 26th, 2009

Subject:Turkey Lurkey
Time:4:53 pm.
The sky is falling! The sky is falling! We must tell the President!

On this day, wherein my people dined with the people we would later slaughter wholesale and condemn to terrible casinos, I like to think back on the multitude of things I think that I am thankful for.

I'd like to say I'm thankful for my family, who love me unconditionally, and my friends who are always the most important part of my life. For the the opportunities I've been given and the talents I naturally possess. I am thankful for the exciting time period I live in, where advances in humanity and history come at an amazing pace. I am thankful for the gift of life and how it has enabled all those other cool things I'm thankful for

But really? When I was driving to pick my sister up from a friend's house today, I saw this little kid in his front yard doing a backflip.

So I'm thankful for that.

I'm thankful for backflips.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

Subject:The Best Damned Sports Show, Period.
Time:11:01 pm.
Imagine Thanksgiving, of the year 2010.

It's not much different from the holiday you'll experience tomorrow. Mom will be in the kitchen, slaving over a rather excessive amount of food. Your siblings will be occupying themselves with their, in your opinion, rather pointless hobbies. You, of course, will be sitting around reading my LiveJournal.

But dad, dear old dad... he'll be on the couch, watching the game. It might be the big football game, it might be the big NBA game... hell, he could be watching the World Series he TIVO'd a few weeks back. Dad's gonna be watching sports and kicking back.

You can watch football any day of the year, though. Any time you want, with the advent of On Demand and the internet. Any sport, really. This holiday, where everyone comes together as one and high television ratings are assured, how can the major American sports industries not do something special?

I propose this:

The best of the best in professional basketball, baseball, and football are brought together. Athletes are drafted by those in charge one week before Thanksgiving, and they will be given training one day before the event.

Training, you ask?

Those drafted will be formed into teams, which will compete in rousing game of... well, any sport that's not there own. Hockey, badminton, water polo, bowling, poker, NASCAR, anything. They're formed into teams and compete against each other, with little training, to win in a sport that is completely out of their element.

I want to see Kobe Bryant and Bret Favre stare down on the dodgeball court.

I want to see Hideki Matsui tripping over Peyton Manning as they vie for that one, ultimate frisbee.

I want to see Michael Vick and Labron James come to blows after a game-changing play in Magic: The Gathering.

If it's been on ESPN, it's fair game (Magic, Scrabble, and I'm lookin' at you, Scripps National Spelling Bee!). Three games, randomly chosen, will be held each year and all the proceeds from advertisers and fan attendance will be donated to charity. ESPN or whatever national network decides to broadcast this will MURDER in the ratings, as everyone watches Allen Iverson reveal he can't swim and he chokes on that final, synchronized breaststroke.

Even if you don't watch sports, TELL me you wouldn't watch this. It's ridiculous, it's fun, and it's for a good cause.

It's better than what they normally show on TV on Thanksgiving!
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Subject:What A Horrible Entry!
Time:10:04 pm.
I like to think I turned more than a few of you onto the goodness that is/was Dr. Horrible. Rumblings of a sequel still permeate the hallowed halls of Whedon-HQ, but there's been a bit of... auxiliary material. Of course there was the DVD with its wonderful "Commentary!: The Musical," but this little bit of fun just came out.

http://www.mediafire.com/?dzt911jc0hz

Don't say I never did nothin' for ya.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

Subject:The Color Of Money
Time:11:06 pm.
My sister had an intriguing situation that I wanted to help out with recently. She and her best friend were going to go on a road trip together, their very first one. Her only problem was that she wasn't going to have a lot of money for the trip.

So, while I've been renting a room here at home, I've been helping out with chores and whatnot. I offered my sister $50 to take up my half of the housework for a month. This has gone pretty well. I was more than happy to finance such a trip, as I remember going on such trips myself and would've loved extra money.

Yet, tonight she springs it on me that they're canceling the trip to instead go get tattoos. I'm not pleased, because that was not the terms of the deal I arranged. She's already fat and kinda slow (I love her, but it's true), I'm really afraid of her doing something else that will make her an undesirable employee. I'm afraid she's going to be just another huge girl with a big rose tattooed on her arm as she wears sleeveless shirts to apply at Arby's.

But really, I'm just upset that she turned the deal around on me. I was pretty excited for her to take her first road trip. Lame.
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

Subject:House Of Pain
Time:9:38 pm.
My mother informed me recently that she would be most likely be moving in May to either Portland, OR or Washington, D.C. due to jobs her husband has recently been offered. It looks right now that they'll be heading to Washington. That's all well and good. I'm happy for them.

However, in response to this, I was offered their house in May. Now, of course, I'd have to pay for it, but it's a pretty exciting prospect. Still, I'd need to get roommates, since I couldn't afford it alone. It's a pretty big thing to take on. Hopefully I can get some of the cool kids on board and I won't have to go to Craigslist and have a Meth Lab in my sister's old bedroom.

Anyone wanna move into a house in Georgia? :D
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, November 21st, 2009

Subject:Terrible Entry
Time:11:42 pm.
No time to write. Here's an update:

Just recorded a pretty incredible version of White Christmas.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, November 20th, 2009

Subject:The Long And Winding Road
Time:8:09 pm.
So the other day I was having a conversation with an old friend from high school who I had met randomly and was asked what I had been up to in the intervening six years. Well, my answer, as one can expect, was "uhhh, umm... err..."

I blame it on being really tired.

Still, what HAVE I been up to since I graduated high school? Let's find out!

So, I graduated then I took a semester off from school and dicked around and got revenge on people and then started going to school and I worked at Ted's Montana Grill and I was a host and a server and a cook for a few days and then one day I wasn't working there anymore and instead I managed a Hollywood Video for about a year and a half and one time during Christmas I worked at Gamestop for a day and during that time I go to college for about a year and a half but I don't have a car and it's hard to get from Marietta to Kennesaw without a car so I kinda stop going as much and drop out for a bit and then I moved out of my parents' house and had a relationship here and there and I lived in an apartment with Adam and Joe and still hung out with Marc too, though Thomas inexplicably stopped being friends with us and then Hollywood Video closed down and I was unemployed for a bit and I got some little brothers and learned to love them and then I got a job at the airport running bags for Midwest Airlines and I traveled a bit to LA and San Francisco and Indiana and Orlando and Panama City and a bunch of places and met a ton of people and then I stopped working at the airport and rented a room at my parents' house and then I got a job in an office in Smyrna and went back to school and I sang a lot of songs and wrote a lot of stories and really had a lot of fun and I wish you'd been there.

I hope that was readable for you.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

Subject:Fall Brawl
Time:2:53 pm.
I love Autumn. Of the four seasons, it's really got it all. While weather-wise it is comparable to Spring, the latter season seems to bring about so many negative connotations. While Spring brings Spring Cleaning, Autumn brings Fall Shopping! And Fall Fashion! And the gosh darned Holidays and everything in between!

It's not too hot and it's not too cold. I can still drive with my windows down and the music blasting. As I drove to work today and the sun glinted off my somehow dirty windshield (didn't I just wash that thing?), I noticed the falling leaves dance towards the concrete below in beat with the tones of Massive Attack. The wind pushed the beauty down and twirled it around, creating a moving, pulsing spin art. It was wondrous.

Then the leaf flew through my open window and into my mouth.

As I gagged on the possible former caterpillar hostel, I stopped thinking about the beauty of the season and started thinking about two things:

1. What kind of diseases are native to local caterpillars?

2. A leaf flying in someone's mouth with their window only slightly cracked could only happen to me.

I should really start riding the bicycle everywhere. Or stop singing while I drive.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Subject:Here Come The Holidays... Time To Die
Time:8:41 pm.
So it looks like, on the day after Thanksgiving, as I stir from my sleep driven by a stomach full of the best home-cooked foods two mothers can offer, I will be putting on my coat, bringing some entertainment, and braving, for the first time in my life, the horrors that many have experienced each year at this same time.

It's a horrible day. So horrible we bestowed upon it a name with rather dark connotations. It is a day where children are made to cry. It is a day where men and women have actually died, trampled to death by their fellow men and women in a mad rush to meet the tangible demands of this equally horrible physical existence.

I will sit with them, like those in Bergen-Belsen, awaiting their turn for the Zyklon-B. The yellow star on our chest will instead be the iPods we carry to entertain us until those nerve-racking moments when the doors open. When those doors open, all Hell will unleash and those once calm men and women will feel the fires of desire and material possession fuel them to a possible demise.

I will be among them on this morning, as the sun rises to illuminate our sullen countenances. I will be among them as we race to get the prize that we can only hope awaits us at the end of that red and white rainbow. I will be among them as we leave, dependent on the outcome, joyous or disgusted.

I will be there on Black Friday. And maybe, just maybe... I will die.

But Target's got a REALLY sweet deal on a new TV I can't pass up! :D
Comments: Read 9 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Subject:Imagination.doc
Time:11:58 pm.
On my old PC, there is a document where I wrote down as much as I could remember of all the dumb stuff I thought of as a kid. When I was little, I would draw these comics and write these stories, and there was really no end to it. I actually plotted out years of stories, as if I were going to one day grow up to write a real comic book or something. Lots of the stuff connected in one shared universe.

I remember there were a bunch of superheroes. The Quad Squad, a blatant Fantastic Four rip-off (what is a Quad Squad supposed to be anyway?). Willy Wow, a kid who put on a cosmic costume and got powers. Godspeed, two super-speedsters who could merge into one being who was somehow even faster. They fought a ton of ridiculous villains who did ridiculous things. One guy even blew up Australia and the heroes saved most everyone on the continent and then built a cyber-Australia made of metal and stuff.

There were non-superhero characters on the same world. The E.L.I.T.E. Corps were a bunch of super-spies who were like S.H.I.E.D. but obviously way cooler. There was a guy named Marcus Dragon who was just a Shang-Chi, martial artist type character. There was a group of people who were all fighting game pastiches.

And of course there was Tom McArthur, Monster Hunter. A badass, witty dude with a group of friends who traveled around the world hunting monsters and demons with the sword Excalibur as he was the descendant of King Arthur himself. I had a ton of Tom McArthur stories, and I remember writing probably about 200 pages on my olllld 486 I had in the mid-90s.

I just loved to write, I guess, and even though most of these ideas were silly or rip-offs or outright terrible, I didn't want to forget them. They were part of my childhood and I wanted to make sure those ideas would still be around.

That document is really cool. :)
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Monday, November 16th, 2009

Subject:My Secret Shame
Time:9:59 pm.
I wasn't sure if I was or was not going to write about this topic this month, but I've decided I've nothing to lose. It's an embarrassing topic in some ways, I suppose. It's not really that bad. I haven't killed anyone. I don't have some sort of weird sexual fetish. But it's something I've had to deal with since I was a very little boy and even when I think I've put it past me for lengths of time, it still manages to come back.

So... )
Comments: Read 13 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

Subject:This Is So HARD ARGH
Time:11:50 pm.
I have stuff to write about but the days go by so fast I forget to until 11:45 PM. So here are two random scripts for sketches I wrote and I can't even remember why:

Read more... )
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, November 14th, 2009

Subject:Once Again: No Time For You
Time:11:58 pm.
Writing an entry every day is hard when you have no time for it.

Tonight I won at Dutch Blitz against some very talented Dutch Blitz players.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, November 13th, 2009

Subject:Quick Update
Time:11:56 pm.
Little time to write an update. I'm a bit distracted at the moment. Have a song I wrote long ago as an entry instead, won't you?

Stone Cold Jane Austen

Darling Emma
She says to me
"Who's the lady over there
The quiet girl
Who writes all day
And never seems to comb her hair"

I guess she heard her
'cause then she came
Her gaze seemed as made of stone
She says to Emma
"Allow me, dear,"
And then she broke her collarbone

Stone Cold
Jane Austen
Born in England
Trained in Boston
She'll rob you of your Sense
And Sensibility
And then she'll have you on your knees
Jane she does just as she please

Lady Susan
She calls me up
I grab the phone out of the dark
"I saw that girl there
The one you saw
Picking fights in Mansfield Park

"Yes I saw her
She took her foot
And stuck it through a young man's face
She did the Stunner
On a small chihuahua
I mean to say that lady's ace."

Stone Cold
Jane Austen
If one looks weak
She will accost 'em
If you show Pride
Well she is Prejudiced
Her writing skills belie her fists
Oh Jane she could not be more pissed

Stone Cold
Jane Austen
In her wake
Lie the folks who crossed 'em
If I could use Persuasion
I'd say, stay away
She doesn't care if you're okay
She'll flip you off, call it a day
Leave you there in disarray, to decay
And then go home and write a poignant essay
Oh Jane my heart wants you to stay.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

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